A SQL Joke
I don't think I've seen one before. An actual "joke" about SQL
A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'
It is about as funny as most of my jokes. All the more funny to me since I just (as in a couple of minutes ago) wrote:
Joins are what RDBMS's do for a living.
Anyway - you can hit this link to see if it gets any comments...
posted by Thomas Kyte at 9:59 PM
37 Comments:
You might also like these programmer jokes.
And afterwards...like most men...he performed a Rollback and never Commited...
He picked those two tables after performing a full scan of the other tables in the room.
A Good one.
This comment has been removed by the author.
hahaha...good one...
That's a great!
This is hilarious joke Tom,
However, you may want to put a footnote for those readers that are not familiar with SQL.
Something like:
1) If you have hard time understanding the joke, please refer to Oracle SQL Reference Manual
http://download.oracle.com/docs/cd/B19306_01/server.102/b14200/queries006.htm#i2054012
:-)))
It sure is a lot to take in, isn’t it? Here’s a little something from Tom Kyte to lighten the load of every DBA, an SQL Joke: “A SQL query walks into a bar . . . ” It’s Tom’s punchline—click through!
Log Buffer #134
Maybe ut should start with "Hi this is xxx from India your new Oracle sales representative and I am anxious to talk with you about any new projects your company is working on this quarter ..."?
@Anonymous,
no idea what witty observation you are trying to convey...
For Anonymous " like every other men..."
Sorry but it doesnt work for everybody: in Spanish, "a table" is "una tabla" --> Female
:)
Tom,
With all your posts about SQL injection, I was sure you would have seen this cartoon about Little Bobbie Tables: http://blog.colinmackay.net/archive/2007/10/11/512.aspx
now this website amuses me every so often.
http://xkcd.com/416/
Also nothing to do with computer programming jokes, yet i still love the following site.
For some reason this one makes me laugh every time. even after I've seen it for the 10th time.
http://www.explosm.net/comics/144/
Written on office toilet door
UPDATE WC_SET_CLOSET='CLEAN' WHERE HANKEY_TRACE='TRUE';
ALTER TOILET FLUSH WATER POOL;
To add tot he joke...
Then the waitress walks up and says "Nice view!"
I am bemused/amused by the number of men commenting on the technical accuracy of the comments being made regarding the joke; or about how they could have written it better. Sql programmers are as bad as plumbers : "I don't know who did this for you love but they should have done it like this instead" - sql testosterone! LMAO
A SQL query walks into a bar on Valentine's day, and sees two tables. She says "insert all this, you cartesian pigs!"
An Englishman (Jonathan Lewis), an American (Don Burleson) and an Australian (Howard Rogers) were sitting in bath.
What a wonderful example of cross-ideological harmony!
Just a question. Shouldn't it be an SQL joke, not a SQL joke, as in sending out an SOS (famous Police song) not a SOS? Sorry to be pedantic but I revise the English of many Spanish University professors and I always tell them an SQL and was interested to see that you put a SQL. Thanks Danny
@Dmsg -
SQL is generally spoken and read to mean "sequel" - not an acronym S-Q-L, but read as a word sequel
An sequel Joke - not right.
A sequel Joke - right.
An S.Q.L. Joke - right
So, it depends on whether you are in the "sequel" camp (like I am) or the S.Q.L. camp...
A SQL Joke is the way I'll be sticking with.
@dsmg
The documentation <URL:http://download.oracle.com/docs/cd/B28359_01/server.111/b28286/intro001.htm#i1712> states "SEQUEL later became SQL (still pronounced "sequel")."
Funny, I always pronounce it "squeal"...
Thanks Tom. I liked this and hope you don't mind I tweeted about it. By the way, are you on twitter?
@Rob -
twitter - highly unlikely :)
SQL> alter package god compile;
alter package god compile
*
ERROR at line 1:
ORA-04043: object GOD does not exist
Oracle - knows everything!
And later, when a Developer created a Package "God" and it got compiled, Deep Withing, Oracle still knows this God was "Man Made" to serve some application (or religion may be).
Inappropriate!!!!
Pretty bad, you can slam God but cannot fess up to who you are.
MATERIALIZED view :::
select t.*, t.rowid from a t
inserted 3 rows
create MATERIALIZED view b REFRESH WITH ROWID START WITH SYSDATE
NEXT sysdate + 2/1440 as select * from a;
select * from b;
all 3 are coming
inserted 1 row in a table.
it is getting reflected in b ( Mview)
show parameter query_rewrite_enabled boolean FALSE
show parameter query_rewrite_integrity string ENFORCED
Still it works in one environment and not in other
When I was first taught that a lot of Oracle tuning was about finding and fixing bad SQL, I asked, "Oh, do you mean like the movie Rocky IV?"
Nice one.
http://MadeBySQL.blogspot.com/
Great sql jokes....enjoyed....I have never thought all those statements are that meaningfull !!!!!!!
Q: Why do you never ask SQL people to help you move your furniture?
A: They sometimes drops the table
@Kjetil
very funny :)
The Query was soon surrounded by subQueries - it was then he realized he had walked into an Array Bar.
It's really COOL!!
Thank you so much!!!
I can forecast future coz I'm Oracle he he he :))
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