Friday, May 04, 2007

They do have a sense of humor...

I've often wondered if the middle tier evangelists had a good sense of humor - or not.  I think I've found one that does.

I'm scheduling a meeting with someone and he wrote:

Ok, great - I will update you when I get more info.

Then let's block out 11:30-1:30 on Tuesday, for the moment..

I wrote back in a manner I do from time to time:

SQL> commit;
Statement processed.

Wondering if they would even know what that meant...  Obviously, they figured it out as this was their response:

yeah, but us middleware guys always have to go and complicate things:

try

{
    xaRes.start(xid, XAResource.TMNOFLAGS);
    stmt.executeUpdate("<SQL Statement>");
    xaRes.end(xid, XAResource.TMSUCCESS);
    ret = xaRes.prepare(xid);
    if (ret == XAResource.XA_OK)

   {
       xaRes.commit(xid, false);
   }
}
catch (XAException e)

{
    e.printStackTrace();
}
finally

{
       stmt.close();
       con.close();
       xaCon.close();
}

:-))

I am easily amused and that made me laugh out loud...

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23 Comments:

Blogger EscVector said....

I like sending this one...

10:35:57 SYS@bjork42> The Answer
SP2-0042: unknown command "The Answer" - rest of line ignored.

Some get it... Some don't...

Fri May 04, 10:36:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Perhaps you should get the server guys to change the commit response from

SQL> commit;

Commit complete.

Then you won't have to type "Statement Processed" every time ;)

Fri May 04, 10:48:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

That sums up why I don't like working in Java. Take a simple statement, make it complex, and case-sensitive to boot!

Fri May 04, 10:55:00 AM EDT  

Blogger Eugene Kuleshov said....

I would cancel meeting with such evangelist. His Java code has way to many critical flows...

Fri May 04, 11:22:00 AM EDT  

Blogger Niall said....

I've often thought that the middle tier itself was proof of these guys sense of humour. No?

Fri May 04, 12:16:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Gabe said....

I've often thought that the evangelist [for anything] title itself was proof of these guys sense of humour ;)

Fri May 04, 01:23:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Chi Hoang said....

I'm surprised you didn't send him a link to a "when others then null" discussion :)

Fri May 04, 07:46:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

What's escvector talking about?

Maybe something to do with a bjork42?

Clueless here apparently.

Fri May 04, 09:22:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Joel Garry said....

42 is the answer to life the universe and everything. So, for a sql error to be 42, erroring out on "The Answer," is a joke suggesting that the answer is not the answer. This therefore is a self-referential joke, which provides an additional level of humor. Unfortunately, if you don't get it and it has to be explained, it is no longer funny, which then leads to a severe existential conundrum about the paradox of self-referential humor being simultaneously funny and not-funny, requiring modification of various quantum and string theories, splitting the universe into an infinitude of both hilarity and non-hilarity. Then the penquin inside your computer explodes.

Sat May 05, 01:27:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Connor said....

Surely Tom you would not be cut-pasting from SQL Plus - you should be uploading a screen dump from SQL Developer

:-)

Sat May 05, 07:49:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Brian Duff said....

Of course... that finally block is totally unsafe :P

System.exit(0);

Sat May 05, 08:16:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Noons said....

Joel,
now you gave me a headache.
dang!...

Sun May 06, 07:50:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous RobH said....

Galactic Hero award goes to Joel. You and I should do lunch something, I have a place in mind, its just a little far away...

Mon May 07, 08:51:00 AM EDT  

Blogger EscVector said....

Joel is on the right path if not the wrong path. The key is that the distance between the thoughts are inversely and infinitely proportional. So at any point they are at least equal to half the other and double what you'd think they'd be. The key to understanding is learning how to miss the ground. :)

Mon May 07, 11:36:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Is this somehow Star Trek related?

Tue May 08, 09:56:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Before blogging, before wikipedia, there was http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/

Read more here:http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/hitchhikers/

Tue May 08, 06:25:00 PM EDT  

Blogger News said....

I'm at the mecca of middle-tier right now -- JavaOne Conference. I stopped by the Oracle Booth and I thought I had a good joke and said to one of the folks near a JSF demo, "Where's the HTMLDB demo?". A blank stare was returned. So I thought he just knew it by the new name so I continued my joke and said the APEX demo.

At this point there was still a blank look on his face. At this point I realized he has no idea what apex or htmldb is.

Tue May 08, 08:26:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

news... Now that's funny.

Wed May 09, 02:25:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Sokrates said....

what is 734 the answer for ?

SQL > The Answer
SP2-0042: unknown command "The Answer" - rest of line ignored.
SQL > REM French
SQL > La réponse
SP2-0042: unknown command "La réponse" - rest of line ignored.
SQL > REM Italian
SQL > La risposta
SP2-0734: unknown command beginning "La rispost..." - rest of line ignored.

Fri May 11, 10:24:00 AM EDT  

Blogger Laurie said....

endless loop: see loop, endless.
loop, endless: see endless loop.

The following is off-topic, but I just found it this afternoon---an unconventional, but rather neat idea!
Think I'll sign up!

http://www.dba-oracle.com/oracle_cruise_2008_caribbean.htm

Fri May 11, 06:38:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Laurie,

Thanks for the link but no thanks.

Anyone other than Don B and I might consider.

Sat May 12, 03:29:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Quote stmt.executeUpdate("SQL Statement");

Show me the bind variables!

Fri May 18, 10:54:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

loooool

i read something almost similar about microsoft guys as well..
Their
Microsoft online tech support service
have an abstract sense of humor.

Smells like another patch commin' up ;-)

Fri May 25, 02:56:00 AM EDT  

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