Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Spam spam spam...

Spam spam spam. I get a fair amount of spam in my email – not too much, we have some pretty good filters here at Oracle. But some slips through. My favorite spam’s are the ones I simply cannot read a single word of – because you have to make up the words to go with the pictures. At least once a week I get a spam that looks like this one:


I have no clue what it is saying – but it could be fun to make up a story to go with it. I see the archer’s crossbows there and just imagine the reasons I might want one – what would make a good marketing spiel to go with them. Some of the pictures I get in these foreign language spams are pretty funny (and many of them you will never see on this particular blog as they are not “family friendly”).

Of course, in the US they would not be crossbows, but high powered automatic rifles or something…

updated a short time later

Ok, just got another one. I stared at the picture and I cannot imagine what it is. It looks like it might plug into a cigarette lighter in a car:


but I'm not sure. If you click on the this link, you can see the image full size.


Anonymous Gary S said....

I would guess that whoever is trying to sell this equipment is paying for x number of spams to go out, with no idea that some large proportion of them are going to people who will never be able to read them, in this life or the next.

(Or maybe that is only the "poetic justice" area of my brain firing.)

Good lookin' crossbows though!

Wed Apr 19, 10:53:00 AM EDT  

Blogger DaPi said....

I like the irony of Russians trying to sell arms to an American.

Wed Apr 19, 10:58:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

It's a shame the picture resolution isn't a little better. I could have a lot of fun with this one. The crossbows have names like "Wasp", "Tiger", "Strike" and "Cobra". Don't use these in your garage!

Bob Shepard

Wed Apr 19, 11:37:00 AM EDT  

Blogger Thomas Kyte said....

you can see the picture very clearly here - I used the shrunken down version inline...

Wed Apr 19, 12:13:00 PM EDT  

Blogger rew said....

About the first...Some of those actually look pretty cool to play around with...I can just imagine cruising around a cubicle farm with one of those slung on my back ;)

About the looks like an auto-carpet steamer.

Wed Apr 19, 12:59:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

It looks like it might plug into a cigarette lighter in a car

Yes. It's an electric car-sprayer called the "Mini-Moyka". The sales pitch starts out like this:

You love your car ...
You're a civilized motorist ...
You want to be independent of the weather and local conditions ...
Then you need the Mini-Moyka!

Looks like you just pop this power nozzle onto a standard water bottle, plug it into your cigarette adapter, and blast that pesky car dirt away!

My Russian isn't the greatest and I don't have my dictionary handy, but that's my take on it. Pretty interesting stuff.

Bob Shepard

Verification keyword: akkqdaln

An ancient Mesopotamian civilization?

Wed Apr 19, 01:03:00 PM EDT  

Blogger David Aldridge said....

The Mini-Moyka eh? That's a great idea!

Tom, forward me that email!

Wed Apr 19, 01:47:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Alberto Dell'Era said....

I hope you're not planning to mix crossbows and squirrels ...

Wed Apr 19, 03:57:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Sergey Popov said....

Tom, spam has no borders. The fact I can read it doesn't make me much happier about spam.

Bob, good knowledge of russian!


Wed Apr 19, 03:58:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

> Mini-Moyka
I believe it is this kind of DIY that helped them [Russians] to win the war [WWII] :-)

Thu Apr 20, 09:47:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

No, actually it was SPAM that won the war.
Without it, half of Red Army would have been working the fields in 1943 and later to avoid starvation.

[ltjack ??]

Thu Apr 20, 10:20:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

It is the Oracle kernel source code with pictures of how it works...!!

Thu Apr 20, 12:20:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Tom, I want one of those Mini Moykas ! It's just the thing for getting your car clean of road dirt, anytime anyplace anywhere. That's why it is called a Mini Carwash (moyka means a wash) The concept is that you spray your car with water from a(ny) bottle. Mini Moyka pumps the water and sprays it. It plugs into the car cigarette lighter. (this might be the hard part because of the wire lead)

I'm pretty sure the reasoning and need behind it is the amount of DIRT on Russian roads. There are fewer grass verges and very fertile soil that gets just about everywhere. Not to mention the dirty slush from melting snow. People want to keep their cars clean without putting in a lot of effort with sponges etc. That would get their business clothes dirty. Besides, as the ad says, the buyer wants to be "civilised" :-)


Fri Apr 21, 04:22:00 AM EDT  

Anonymous Mladen Gogala said....

I love garden gear from Russia! Russian slang for "garden hose" is "schlong". Russian friend of mine used the word under the most embarassing circumstances imaginable, on a 4th of July barbecue. He offered to teach the hosts lovely neighbor how to "use the schlong properly". Her husband looked as he was a WWF wrestler. I'll mercifully draw a curtain over the rest of the scene. Those language barriers can really be embarassing and downright dangerous. When I crossed the pond, I also used the word "rubber" in place of "eraser" when asking a young department secretary for office supplies. As it is about me, I am not going to describe the rest of the scene. In other words, my advice is to refrain from using the terminology found in spam sent from Russia with love.

As for the squirrels, the best thing is to shoot them with cal 50 rifle. You don't want to just wound them, they can be dangerous when wounded.

Fri Apr 21, 03:23:00 PM EDT  

Blogger Thomas Kyte said....

I love garden gear from Russia!You must ask Rachel about using suspenders in an analogy in the UK as opposed to the US some time :)

Fri Apr 21, 03:40:00 PM EDT  

Anonymous Anonymous said....

Air travel blog

Mon Oct 01, 06:08:00 PM EDT  


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