Just for fun...
In particular, I found four pages that resonated with me. The first was “In-Flight Humor”. Probably because I already have 45,000 miles on 40 segments this year (well, they say 38 but only because they missed recording two of my flights – I now know to keep those boarding passes…). The quips supposedly made by the flight crew (I actually don’t doubt them – sometimes the flight crew can be quite amusing) might make you chuckle out loud. My favorite:
"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
I really liked the seatbelt part – it is so true.
Then there was “The World’s SHORTEST Books”. A tongue in cheek list of fictitious titles that would result in really really short books. Some of them were good for a grin, such as:
- The Difference between Reality and Dilbert
- Fast & Efficient Windows Programs
- Things I Can't Afford - by Bill Gates
I’m sure you get the gist by now.
Next there was “Things I have Learned from Children”. I really liked all of the ceiling fan ones. Some of my favorite ones from that page:
- The fire department in my town has a 5 minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy, however.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Lastly, this one on “Bad Resumes” hit close to home. I’ve seen some bad, really bad, and really really bad resumes in the past – I’m pretty sure these quotes are not made up.
- The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.
- I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.
- At the age of twelve, I began hustling newspapers like many other great Americans had done. The only difference was that they became great.
- Suspected to graduate early next year.
Anyway, now you all know how bad my sense of humor is… (or how little it takes to actually amuse me). Any others out there?